@KPsych29: "Hey, the sky is pitch black tonight."-You, counting your lucky stars.
@Jarhead44: If I win the Powerball, I'm going to make golf illegal.
@SCbchbum: Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?
@ibid78: *slaps the shit out of a fish with a slightly larger, more confused fish*
@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
@LoveYoorFate: "I'm never gonna do THAT again!"
~ Me, about things I'll continually do...