@KPsych29: "Hey, the sky is pitch black tonight."-You, counting your lucky stars.
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@LaurelleMartin: My boys are gamers and I'm single It's like a race to see who can use the most batteries
@brennadine: [Coworker] Are you smiling at your stapler? No, just checking for spinach [Laughs nervously]. Oh, good. [Me, to stapler] Sorry baby I had to
@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?
@SoulYodeler: HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE