@rhysjamesy: Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you're making this VERY DIFFICULT.
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@imdaintyaf: Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE. Dentist: Please just floss more
@robin_991: My husband left me this morning. Again. he'll be back after work, but still. I'm getting really sick of these games.
@lwhit_the_boss: My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos
@mjkspeaks: Someone flipped me off so I threw my wallet at him and said "I love you." He didn't even die. Killing people with kindness is hard.