@KimmyMonte: HEY TWITTER IF I WANTED 10,000 CHARACTERS THAT I WASN'T INTERESTED IN I WOULD START WATCHING GAME OF THRONES
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@Storminika: I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, what's your friend's name?' on me. Worst pickup line ever.
@JillBidenVeep: Barack: Sign here, and here Joe: And then the adoption is final & you and Michelle are my parents? Barack: No, Joe
@Black__Elvis: If I were a woman I’d probably use tampons because it seems like it would be hard to stuff a maxi pad all the way up there.