@TheKrisWilson: Hey Twitter, you get a new comic EARLY
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@nettie0918: My boss just informed me its unprofessional to tell customers congratulations when they call in to change last name due to divorce.
@realHamOnWry: 73% of being white is looking like every limb hears a different beat when you're dancing.
@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".