@TheTweetOfGod: Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a "God PLEASE bless America", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners
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@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.
@thepunningman: Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes' Snail: [2 hours later] that's right SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?
@shutupmikeginn: Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat
@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.