@illTortuga: "Hey, wanna hangout?" "Later." "Now?" "No, later" "How about now?" "Jesus christ." -if Adobe Updater was your friend
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@loudmouth_usa: Him: If you could have dinner with any people, living or dead, who would you choose? Me: All the dead ones
@JermHimselfish: I've never been put in the "friend" zone, but I have been put in the "please don't tell my friend's" zone.
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I'll show my husband the chewed up food in my mouth just so he's reminded of the delicacy and beauty of the flower he chose.