@smint: Hey wanna take the elevator with me and discuss what day of the week it feels like? And then we can go over what day it actually is, deal?
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@EJGomez: dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance
@Milariou: It's all fun and games until you notice the "rocket" in your son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.
@rolldiggity: Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close.
@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.