@madamezooble: Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over
@Qckhd: Gets in shower Washes hair Thinks about a tweet Forgets if washed hair Washes hair Gets out of shower Forgets tweet
@cloudypianos: Obama: Please don't talk to me until I've had my morning cup of Joe. Joe: no please no more. Obama: shut up Joe. *takes a sip of Joe*