@amydillon: "Hey, we're wearing the same shoes," I say to a teenager, ruining her day.
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@FrenulumBreve: Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated.
@jergarl: When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... "Whatcha doin?" Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.
@BakedElle: I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone.
@dlockw21: *Looking through binoculars Awww, it looks like she forgot her password. I should remind her what it is.