@DamienFahey: Hey white people, which filter are we using this year to Instagram the Pumpkin Spice Latte?
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@Discourt: My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting.
@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
@iamspacegirl: me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It's probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself.