@lecalabara: Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid.
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@TheTimmyToes: I just want to be rich enough to say "that won't be necessary" when the police go to handcuff me
@Dutch_50: Acquaintances: "So what have you been up to?" What I hear: "Please explain yourself, we're trying to figure you out."
@CherBear162: Who the hell buys furniture online? Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in? What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay?