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@rolldiggity: "Hi?" -First cow being milked
@koalaslament: I never know what to do when someone tries to fist bump me, so I just slowly put their fist in my mouth
@causticbob: A router goes into a doctor's office and says, "It hurts when IP."
@E_lok44: "Why can't I just eat the wax?"
~me, when I can't open the cheese
@SamuelHLowe: I'm going to confess my love to this sore throat so it'll be gone when I wake up in the morning.
@JenniferJokes: Him: your so funny, smart & beautiful how are you still single