@robfee: Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
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@Dutch_50: What's the name of the phobia for a fear of opening your mailbox because there might be a wedding invitation inside?
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker....
@bornmiserable: I appreciate it when someone tells me to just "get over it" when I'm depressed. It gives me a chance to exercise my grave digging skills.
@SomthinBoutSara: If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver.