@robfee: Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
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@NotGoodEthan: "IN THIS CORNER.. DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON" *the rock beats chest* AND IN THIS CORNER... RYAN "PAPER" WALLACE *the rock is visibly nervous*
@KalvinMacleod: ME: A bag of my favorite peanuts has gone missing. LIAM NEESON: How did you get this number?
@DurtMcHurtt: *Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS