@UNTRESOR: Hi, I'm Brandon and I'll be your hater this evening. Our specials tonight are "ur mom", "lol own3d", and "u mad bro lol u mad?!??!"
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@markleggett: My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing "Yeah, shake that shit…"
@trevso_electric: Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet.
@EJGomez: taylor swift: oh my god look at that face you look like my next mistake me [with mouth full of like way too many Doritos]: what
@KattsDogma: DA: Where r my legal briefs? Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!