@UNTRESOR: Hi, I'm Brandon and I'll be your hater this evening. Our specials tonight are "ur mom", "lol own3d", and "u mad bro lol u mad?!??!"
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@jdforshort: Apparently it's frowned upon to wipe sweat from the brow of a sexy guy at the gym Who knew
@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: and for your first wish? ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another GENIE: holy shit!
@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.