@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kevinseccia: Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations.
@cray_at_home_ma: In case you're considering having kids, I've been awake since sunrise trying to fulfill breakfast requests of: 1. Pancakes 2. Pizza 3. Green
@daemonic3: Kids today are too obsessed with their phones to care about the "free candy" on my van. *crosses off "candy" and writes "wi-fi"
@0point5twins: Girlfriend left a note on the fridge "this isn't working, you take everything too literally". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one.