@briangaar: Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Her: What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom? Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.
@DomBorrett: Me: 'I love you so much, I'll see you later beautiful' Girlfriend: 'I love you too' Me: *Looks up from patting dog* 'Yeah see you later'
@angelunatic_: Picture me and my boyfriend on a dinner date Wrong We're sitting on the same side of the table making you uncomfortable