@3sunzzz: Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SimplyRetard: "*RING**RING* in the middle Of night! "Hello?" "Hey man are you home?" "No dude i just picked up my house phone from Burger King."
@Just__J0: [Text] 18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?! Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?
@sickipediabot: My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice.
@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"