@KevinFarzad: Hi, welcome to Starbucks! How can we spell your name incorrectly today?
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@HatfieldAnne: I appreciate your confidence in me, but it appears your “foolproof” chicken recipe is merely “fool resistant.”
@ShaeAaron: I just sent a text that says "we really need to talk" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today.
@jordan_stratton: Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge.