@KevinFarzad: Hi, welcome to Starbucks! How can we spell your name incorrectly today?
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@iamspacegirl: "Makin all the ladies drop they panties" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret.
@_BurnsWhenIPee: Periods are stupid. Why am I being punished for not being pregnant? Shouldn't confetti be falling from my uterus?
@TheHyyyype: [knock on door] JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: do you have a few minutes to talk about jesus? ME (hates gossip): no