@CherBear162: Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not.
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@Mayhem_Monica: My boss told me to dress for the job I want; not the job I have. I'm now in a disciplinary meeting for wearing my Batman costume to work.
@huntigula: I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins
@stevevsninjas: Dad: [tied to chair] You'll never make me talk. Bad Guy: *pulls back a velvet curtain revealing a wall with hundreds of thermostats*