@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.
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@SteveSuckington: Wanna get rich? Buy my book, 'How to Get Stupid People on the Internet to Send You $39.95' for only $39.95.
@ojedge: Guys what shall we call thing that impedes movement? GUY NAMED BARRY: "How about a barry?" GUY NAMED BARRY BARRY: "How about a barrier?"
@errdayhustlah: According to my neighbor's rooster, it's 5am now. Also according to my neighbor's rooster, we're having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.