@fatguythe: Hid my daughters ipod in my other daughters room cause they've been getting along lately and there's nothing on tv tonight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@davidgrossTV: When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Humans have 10,000 taste buds. Cats have 470 SON: So cats don't have much taste CAT [watching the emoji movie] haha this is hilarious
@jerm1991: Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation
@MomofTeen: Newton's amended 1st law of motion: Objects dropped on the floor by teens will remain at rest for months unless acted upon by an angry Mom.