@Tw1tter_K1tten: Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the new hiding your report card from your parents.
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@causticbob: Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it "White People"
@KatMcSnatch: Tip for twitter newbies: Before you start using twitter, please make sure this is really what you want to do with the rest of your life.
@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] He barely knows who I am anymore "That's not true, Karen" LINDA, MY NAME IS LINDA