@Tw1tter_K1tten: Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the new hiding your report card from your parents.
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@GlennyRodge: A horse walks into a bar. The batman asks "why the long..." "wait a minute, did you see that typo?" interrupts the horse.
@ibid78: Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.