@Schmoodles: High cholesterol food will always have a special place in my heart.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: We’re playing Star Wars. I’m a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way.
@LMHPhotog: Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrödinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?
@MrGeorgeWallace: If a gang attacks U say you're on their side & U brought them "gang supplies". They'll let you go to the car to get the supplies. Drive away