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@jazmasta: *high fives self*
@IntrepidDeviant: You don't know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
@MariyaAlexander: How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime
@iGreenMonk: My Wife: Why are you home so early?
Me: My boss told me to go to hell
@AIMMadellynne: Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat.
Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have.
@TheMichaelRock: I'm straight, but I'm not "wouldn't spoon with George Clooney" straight.