@MaraWilson: High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway
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@ArfMeasures: ME: What's wrong? WIFI: You're obsessed with the internet ME: Give me one example WIFI: Look how you've spelled wife
@EndhooS: [Watching boxing] Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!
@RocketRankoon: "What time is it?" *pulls out phone, checks Twitter, puts phone away* *Still has no idea what time it is*