@MaraWilson: High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway
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@Zwolf666: Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent.
@daemonic3: [drinks milk from carton] WHY AREN'T YOU USING A GLASS?!? "I went to the eye doctor" What does that mean? "He said I don't need glasses"
@BeamishBoi: *throws goods on conveyor belt* Cashier: is that all sir? Me:"Nope. You got change for a trophy?"