@MaraWilson: High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway
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@LostFelicia: To the raisin I just beat to death with my shoe.. Eww! I thought you were a spider. Eww! Someone's bringing raisins in my house.
@VeganZebra: *tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*
@1followernodad: the thing about the weather getting colder is that it makes you think you want to date someone when what you want is heavy socks
@TheToddWilliams: [Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force