@c_always_wright: high school was the free trial version of college. “if you wish to continue your education you can buy the complete pack for $50,000”
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@KevinFarzad: Sick and tired of birds going to any concert they want for free. Maybe get a job and buy a ticket like the rest of us.
@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder
@Mr_Kapowski: Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie.
@einsteinsexual: You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup.