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@archpics: Hilarious Architecture Fails
@TheMichaelRock: Her: ID please
Me: my beard is almost white
Her: still need it
Me*whispers* I know why you work at a gas station
@Marlebean: The ONE time I actually want to say "duck", damn you autocorrect!
"Sorry again! I'd love to join the preschool field trip to the DUCK pond"
@sucittaM: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.
@brennadine: How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Step 1: Stop wearing other people's skin
@AnOrangeSNES: Please follow the instructions
1) Read all instructions
2) Sacrifice a goat
3) Cut off your fingers
4) Eat glass
5) Only do number one