@Ivsy01: Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour.
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@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@Mr_Kapowski: 7 y/o daughter: Why don't they have tape for your burrito but you could eat the tape? And now I know what Einstein's parents felt like
@HollyMemphis: If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?