@Ndeshi_M: Him: I'd go to the end of the world for you!
Me: Well... what are you waiting for then?
@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.
@Kim_pulsive: I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again
@SukaBlunt: I learned 2 things at least when I was married
1. Always passcode lock your phone
2. Don't use a nude pic of your gf as the lock screen
@yassinovic89: Gf: am I pretty or ugly?
Bf: you're both hun :)
Gf: what do you mean both?
Bf: you're pretty ugly.
@Sean_Burgundy_: The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone