@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.
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@Iwriteforcats: The best part about being a comma is that you're usually followed by a nice big BUT.
@trojansauce: GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime? ME:*nervously looks around* MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables
@WilliamRodgers: Don't let that "Metalica" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball"
@hippieswordfish: COP: put ur hands in the air ME: ok C: now flip them over M: k? C: now cross them M: what C: put them behind ur head M: why- C: hey macarena