@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.
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@MrSandeepP: My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.
@GrantTanaka: *strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying "Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"
@BlindChow: 911: what's your emergency? me: what's YOUR emergency? 911: *starts crying* omg no one's ever asked me that before! me: jk I've been stabbed