@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.
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@ewfeez: Hey girl, are you an obelisk, because I'm trying to learn what an obelisk is through process of elimination
@mexinonblonde: I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa's lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas... The more you know.
@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!