@unravelingfire: Him: [running out of burning house carrying two house plants and three Led Zeppelin CDs] I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH PLANTS YOU WANTED
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@panmidwest: ME: i love you HER: i love you too ME: …ok wow i put my heart on the line and you’re telling me your favorite band
@nachosarah: if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine
@thestlouisan: A movie about a surfer vs. a shark but instead of going back into the water & fighting the shark & dying, she finds somewhere else to surf.
@jakob_huber: Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough