@unravelingfire: Him: [running out of burning house carrying two house plants and three Led Zeppelin CDs] I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH PLANTS YOU WANTED
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Skoogeth: satan: [pulling me aside] hey we’ve had some complaints me: about the laughing? satan yeah [scratching horns] i gotta be honest a lot of the demons are creeped out me: satan: you really shouldn’t be enjoying the torture this much
@NYC_Blonde: I wish I was a baby so I could pass out in public with a bottle and no one would look twice.