@unravelingfire: Him: [running out of burning house carrying two house plants and three Led Zeppelin CDs] I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH PLANTS YOU WANTED
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ItsAndyRyan: Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years Me: That's a long sentence! Judge: Ok - "you get 10 years"
@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
@Marlebean: As a responsible parent, I gave my kids a healthy breakfast of strawberries w/ milk & a little sugar... frozen. OK IT WAS ICE CREAM! FitFam?