@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.
@TheQuietPsycho: *getting married
Priest: will you love & honor her?
Me: I will
Her: [whispers to priest]
Priest: and leave your phone unlocked?
Me: I'm out
@abhorrent_wife: There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room.
@TumbIrHumor: i love pizza
@chuuew: ME: You're a silly sausage aren't you?
SAUSAGE: [peering over spectacles] I may have acted out in my youth but that's not what defines me.
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