@simoncholland: Accidentally feng shui'd tonight when everybody wang chunged and I've never been more embarrassed. That lamp does look great there though.

@TheWoodenslurpy: To people calling themselves "Grammar Nazis": you’re not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I’m a Nomenclature Nazi.

@katta_IoIkatt: The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true.

@jwoodham: Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now.

@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*