@Ivsy01: Him: You'll always be the one that got away. Me: Escaped. Him: What? Me: I said Thanks.
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@KalvinMacleod: DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can’t find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hi—DAMMIT
@tastefactory: SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!
@Parkerlawyer: Waiting on this storm is like waiting on your mom to get home when you're in trouble. You know she's pissed, you just don't know HOW pissed