@aparnapkin: Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way
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@ClearlyUnwell: I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
@shopkins776: I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add "This time I'm serious"
@tamytoo2: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day.
@ErinEph: You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.