@GregDorris: "Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined." - Moron who clearly hasn't pictured a Crocoshark.
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@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
@adamochoa: freak people out in public restrooms by saying "come in" when they knock on the stall door
@simoncholland: Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
@mikeleffingwell: I always say "I was wondering when you'd find me" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit.