@SkinnerSteven: HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress...it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"
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@briancthayer: Dear microwave companies, Why make us select "cook" at all? Does my appliance have a calculator function or something? Sincerely, Everyone
@dumbbeezie: If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars