@sween: Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [job interview] "So what would you say is your biggest weakness?" "I'm pretty bad at reading situations." *tries to kiss interviewer*
@dave_cactus: ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick. ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent.
@AudreyPorne: me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth