@mdob11: Hipsters is what happens when you tell every child they're special.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old is handing me one grape to wash at a time so breakfast should be served around midnight.
@tsm560: Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already.
@RobDenBleyker: Spider-Man reboots should start with the previous actor biting the new one as the origin story.
@CornOnTheGoblin: I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG