@mdob11: Hipsters is what happens when you tell every child they're special.
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@3sunzzz: I don't mean to brag, but I don't need to buy a new Tamagotchi. The one I got in 1997 is not only still alive, but it's healthier than I am.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old has a pretty big attitude considering that I'm the only one who can open the fridge.
@simoncholland: A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u drink it wrong" A: what