@TheTimmyToes: *hires 2 personal trainers and makes one of them train the other one*
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@goldengateblond: I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
@AGStr8upNinja: If only people were named after their tattoo's. This guy standing in front of me in Petro Canada Would be named Machine gun-Snake-Jesus.
@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like that of a woman waiting for you to reply to her text all the while she sees you're continuing to send tweets.
@Im_Tricia: There's no way that Cinderella was treated like shit her entire life, then a prince tells her he loves her & she wasn't like "yeah right."