@Jake_Vig: *hires a group of teenage girls to giggle every time you walk by*
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@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.
@Reverend_Scott: [interview] "Where you see yourself in 5 years?" Doing your job. "And me?" Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*
@abbycohenwl: Don't do anything rash - inept doctor trying to keep a skin eruption from spreading