@Jake_Vig: *hires a group of teenage girls to giggle every time you walk by*
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@matt___nelson: [getting escorted out of zoo] "I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"
@Snarfernini: *boss walks in Me: I lost my contact Boss: Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk? Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave
@theoduscrane: I wonder who ate the first egg. Like who said, "I'm a eat the white ball that chicken just shit out."