@MdUNH: *hires skywriter*
$1 MILLION DOLLARS OR I SKYWRITE GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS!
@KalvinMacleod: DOG BOSS: ur fired
ME: wait, is there any way you'll reconsider?
DOG BOSS: no
ME: u want to go for a ride in the car
DOG BOSS: *tilts head*
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@Just__J0: Do NOT look under a teenage boy's bed, & never, EVER ask him why he & his friends are laughing.
- two things I've learned the hard way
@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.
@beefman138: *Gets arrested for making prank phone calls
[At Police Station]
"You can make one phone call"
*Dials random #
"Is your fridge running?"