@HatfieldAnne: “His and hers” gifts are the thoughtful choice for any wedding. The division of property goes so much more smoothly.
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@shutupmikeginn: my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town
@bridger_w: Amazing how a fight can break out at the grocery store over something as simple as knocking over someone's cart and demanding they fight you
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@eddiepepitone: I'm with North Korea when comes to being offended by James Franco and Seth Rogen.