@Cpin42: His Holiness the Dalai Lama invited you to play Candy Crush.
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@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@Mr_Kapowski: If the movie theater slightly lowered their candy prices I wouldn't have to duct tape candy around my kid's torso like a suicide bomber
@kelkulus: I don't understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms. It's much more awkward trying to return them. "She didn't like me."