@myonlymizztake: His last words were, "I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vincevangone: Infomercial: "Have you been trying to stay fit, but simply can't get any results?" Me: *mouthful of fries* YASS!!!
@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.
@sageboggs: are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]