@myonlymizztake: His last words were, "I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."
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@TheCiscoKidder: My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, "Big pee pee!" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on.
@deardilettante: [ brings ouija board to your grave ] "Okay, now will you tell me why her number was in your phone?"