@myonlymizztake: His last words were, "I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."
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@Token_Geezer: Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed.
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.