@GoldenSpirals: Hit a squirrel with my car on the way home from the grocery store. If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn't have bought all this meat.
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@YasmeenMS: When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'
@Bagyants: I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like "Let's name it Rad!" and one guy was all "Let's dial that back a bit."
@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?