@Elizabeth___93: 'Hit me with your pet shark' #RuinAn80sSong
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@iRowlf: I think these bikers are coming over to give me a group hug because they like the Hello Kitty stickers I put all over their motorcycles.
@Tommytoughstuff: "How does Dracula get his hair so perfect without a mirror? Oh questions about the job? No I'm good."
@awesomeseank: Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why was that guy yelling at you? [flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign] me [with a mouthful of cheese samples] No idea