@Elizabeth___93: 'Hit me with your pet shark' #RuinAn80sSong
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@JediGigi: Dating Profile Sex: Probably Favorite Food: Yes Favorite Movie: Star Wars Favorite Book: LOLZ
@Fred_Delicious: *sits down in a classy as hell bar* "barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..." *lowers shades* "$200 every 4 months"
@vineyille: "Food expiration dates are lies. It's all about control." My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. "I'm saving this for later."
@jjhartinger: [happy hour with friends discussing politics] me: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. alcohol: wanna bet.