@markydoodoo: Hit the showers. Smack a sink. Verbally assault a bathtub. Make everyone at Home Depot uncomfortable.
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@KentWGraham: My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.