@AlexvanBeek: Hitler ruined the Charlie Chaplin mustache for everyone.
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@TheGladStork: Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!
@jamitupin: The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?
@CVTBaby: When the ex saw 2 wine glasses in my sink, I hope he thought, "she shared a bottle w/ a hot guy" not "drinking alone 2 nights in a row"