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@bea_ker: Hitlers gonna hitl
@FeelingMervis: BREAKING NEWS: Overworked Janitor Sweeps the Nation.
@sixthformpoet: The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest in their real job so soon after joining Twitter.
@rhysjamesy: So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.
@lawyerthoughts: Them: sir there's no food allowed in here.
Me: this is my service burrito.
@kumailn: Twitter 1 Act:
-Person misreads sarcasm
-You point out it's sarcasm
-"I know I was being sarcastic back"
-Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye