@Kenworthy79: In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'

@delusionaliam: If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun.

@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?

@mrtruthandsoul: 5yo: Daddy, what's a facial? Me: Your brother. 5yo: I don't have a brother!? Me: Exactly!

@jjhartinger: I'm currently helping my husband look for his chocolates that I ate last Friday.