@CoopSoSarc: Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
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@sad_tree: Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends. "Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I'll be there."
@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug
@WilliamAder: Remembered there were pudding cups in the fridge, so I walked faster than usual to the kitchen and now I know what a "runner's high" is.
@carlyken: If you can't handle me getting arrested in my pajama pants at Walmart than you don't deserve me buying produce in my yoga pants at Target.